It sucks to have gone on vacation but remain unable to look at the photos because it was so emotionally fraught.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
He is a good man who loves me deeply but he didn't understand that he needed to treat me like a mental patient and instead expected me to be able to 'start over' as soon as I got off the plane with red wine breath.
How can one do that, after going through so much pain for the past few years, not even months, years.
And then this year was just the marzipan on the cake.
And I hate marzipan.
Anyway, he was loving, he is a good man, but it is clear that I am a seriously disturbed person in the head now, that this year should not be underestimated when it comes to how it has totally fcked with my ability to relax and be happy.
I keep saying to myself, 'I only had 17 days, how could there be a 'new start' within 17 days, when I arrived so mentally removed from the real me in the first place'.
And so on.
We had a huge tiff in front of his mother.
I was mortified that this happened.
On Christmas Day, too.
I shocked her because I apparently used the Lord's name in vain 3 times.
I had to substitute 'fucking this and fucking that' with something!
I apologised and told her that, whilst I wasn't affiliated to an organised religion, that I believed in God to the degree that I would never have voted for Bush. Not all of that is true but most of it is.
Christmas Day evening I was camped out alone, under a tree on the golf course, upon my Turkish throws, knocking back neat honey-enhanced whiskey, and talking to rabbits.
You had to be there.
In Vegas I got a guy arrested.
But more on that later.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
He is a good man who loves me deeply but he didn't understand that he needed to treat me like a mental patient and instead expected me to be able to 'start over' as soon as I got off the plane with red wine breath.
How can one do that, after going through so much pain for the past few years, not even months, years.
And then this year was just the marzipan on the cake.
And I hate marzipan.
Anyway, he was loving, he is a good man, but it is clear that I am a seriously disturbed person in the head now, that this year should not be underestimated when it comes to how it has totally fcked with my ability to relax and be happy.
I keep saying to myself, 'I only had 17 days, how could there be a 'new start' within 17 days, when I arrived so mentally removed from the real me in the first place'.
And so on.
We had a huge tiff in front of his mother.
I was mortified that this happened.
On Christmas Day, too.
I shocked her because I apparently used the Lord's name in vain 3 times.
I had to substitute 'fucking this and fucking that' with something!
I apologised and told her that, whilst I wasn't affiliated to an organised religion, that I believed in God to the degree that I would never have voted for Bush. Not all of that is true but most of it is.
Christmas Day evening I was camped out alone, under a tree on the golf course, upon my Turkish throws, knocking back neat honey-enhanced whiskey, and talking to rabbits.
You had to be there.
In Vegas I got a guy arrested.
But more on that later.
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