I can't stop thinking about the office lady and the fact she lost her husband only two months ago and that I didn't even know this had happened, even though I pop into the office heaps and heaps and make jokes about their new 'cubicle' set-up - which they are not fond of - and which I pretend contains a rabbit behind each sky-blue screen, which I throw invisible carrots and greens into.
Anyway, whatever, quite a few readers of this blog think me selfish for wanting to opt out of work at such a young age, indeed, there are even people in real life who call me selfish for doing so.
And that's fair enough, if you truly think that life is well-lived working into your 60's.
If you enjoy your job, if the only alternative is hanging around your house, with nowhere else to go, with no money to spend, with no interest in anything beyond your job and your home, then yes, it's absolutely fine and dandy to be a worker for the greater part of your life.
But whilst I have always enjoyed my job, I've also always known that I want to make more happen in my life, beyond working and staying in one place.
Again, it seems that most people like setting up home, settling into the home, and being cosy and comfortable in one place, for what is usually forever, until they pass away.
But I just get bored staying in one place, especially if I wasn't working, and I really love travel, I love discovering new food, new words for 'cheers', new local drinks, beautiful views, and so on.
Ergo, I wanted to make decisions that would help me snip a hole in the net that otherwise keeps we workers in one big sea of commitment, and more often than not, debt.
But back to the lady in the office. She'd always told me how she was looking forward to retiring so that she and her husband could travel in their retirement.
And then this happens.
And I'm not kidding about the huge sigh she let out before saying, 'You're so great, Maria', and I'm not wanting to toot my own horn here, far from it, instead I want to write these words as a caution to any young people out there who might read this blog.
Not that this blog contains any readership beyond my FB friends, old readers who I contacted about this new address, and some folks in Japan, because this blog isn't 'out there', it's 'hidden' because I need this space, it's my life ring, so to speak, this year.
I tigressed, but I guess there's no need to 'caution' folks reading this blog because I think most of us are wayyyyy into our 30's and above, and I guess we've already laid our foundations for how we wish to live out our lives, depending on what kinds of investments have been made, and careers carved.
Where was I?
Oh yes, I needed to refill my glass.
So, my point is this, the lady sighed.
It broke my heart to hear that sigh, but it broke my heart even more to hear her say that if she could be born again, she would do things differently.
I was seriously shocked at her openness with me. But then again, I have always been warm and sweet to the ladies in the office, we all go way back, to when my first cat, the black one, Uma, used to saunter into school and hang out in the computer paper box in the office, or sit on the office window ledge for hours at a time, and quite possibly, the lady, well, she needed somebody like me to 'sigh' to. Folks don't sigh to others here. Not usually.
I remember sitting next to a teacher one year, in the same school, she had '6 years to go till retirement' and I used to joke by adding up 6 years worth of classes, and would say to her,
'Only seven thousand six hundred and fifty classes to go. Ganbarre',
and yes, I'm a bitch and I'm not surprised I've rarely been invited round to my co-worker's houses, but not to tigress here, she'd often look puzzled as to why I was so keen on traveling, wondering why I couldn't be like her and her husband, and wait till post-retirement, and then her husband suddenly got seriously ill, he was 59, she left the school, quit her job. He died.
Were those 6 years really worth hanging out for in the end?
Because in the end they didn't happen, and quite possibly, if our lives weren't so full of stress from work, and so on, then we might find that we live happier and longer lives.
But what do I know.
I have lived within my own head for much of my life, I have spun globes and built an empire based purely on naivety and good luck.
Nothing I achieved in life was because I sat down and really thought about it.
Quite the opposite, and yet it has all worked out so far.
My only hope is that I can remain alive for many years to come, as I am more awake than ever, in so many ways, and there are a lot of things that I want to do, places I want to see, and commas I want to overuse.
I am so excited about life, whichever direction it takes - the love road, or the lone road.
This year has changed me, into what, I am still not sure. The winter vacation will define the next step.
Anyway, whatever, quite a few readers of this blog think me selfish for wanting to opt out of work at such a young age, indeed, there are even people in real life who call me selfish for doing so.
And that's fair enough, if you truly think that life is well-lived working into your 60's.
If you enjoy your job, if the only alternative is hanging around your house, with nowhere else to go, with no money to spend, with no interest in anything beyond your job and your home, then yes, it's absolutely fine and dandy to be a worker for the greater part of your life.
But whilst I have always enjoyed my job, I've also always known that I want to make more happen in my life, beyond working and staying in one place.
Again, it seems that most people like setting up home, settling into the home, and being cosy and comfortable in one place, for what is usually forever, until they pass away.
But I just get bored staying in one place, especially if I wasn't working, and I really love travel, I love discovering new food, new words for 'cheers', new local drinks, beautiful views, and so on.
Ergo, I wanted to make decisions that would help me snip a hole in the net that otherwise keeps we workers in one big sea of commitment, and more often than not, debt.
But back to the lady in the office. She'd always told me how she was looking forward to retiring so that she and her husband could travel in their retirement.
And then this happens.
And I'm not kidding about the huge sigh she let out before saying, 'You're so great, Maria', and I'm not wanting to toot my own horn here, far from it, instead I want to write these words as a caution to any young people out there who might read this blog.
Not that this blog contains any readership beyond my FB friends, old readers who I contacted about this new address, and some folks in Japan, because this blog isn't 'out there', it's 'hidden' because I need this space, it's my life ring, so to speak, this year.
I tigressed, but I guess there's no need to 'caution' folks reading this blog because I think most of us are wayyyyy into our 30's and above, and I guess we've already laid our foundations for how we wish to live out our lives, depending on what kinds of investments have been made, and careers carved.
Where was I?
Oh yes, I needed to refill my glass.
So, my point is this, the lady sighed.
It broke my heart to hear that sigh, but it broke my heart even more to hear her say that if she could be born again, she would do things differently.
 |
| Christmas Day in Cairo |
I was seriously shocked at her openness with me. But then again, I have always been warm and sweet to the ladies in the office, we all go way back, to when my first cat, the black one, Uma, used to saunter into school and hang out in the computer paper box in the office, or sit on the office window ledge for hours at a time, and quite possibly, the lady, well, she needed somebody like me to 'sigh' to. Folks don't sigh to others here. Not usually.
I remember sitting next to a teacher one year, in the same school, she had '6 years to go till retirement' and I used to joke by adding up 6 years worth of classes, and would say to her,
'Only seven thousand six hundred and fifty classes to go. Ganbarre',
and yes, I'm a bitch and I'm not surprised I've rarely been invited round to my co-worker's houses, but not to tigress here, she'd often look puzzled as to why I was so keen on traveling, wondering why I couldn't be like her and her husband, and wait till post-retirement, and then her husband suddenly got seriously ill, he was 59, she left the school, quit her job. He died.
Were those 6 years really worth hanging out for in the end?
Because in the end they didn't happen, and quite possibly, if our lives weren't so full of stress from work, and so on, then we might find that we live happier and longer lives.
But what do I know.
I have lived within my own head for much of my life, I have spun globes and built an empire based purely on naivety and good luck.
Nothing I achieved in life was because I sat down and really thought about it.
Quite the opposite, and yet it has all worked out so far.
My only hope is that I can remain alive for many years to come, as I am more awake than ever, in so many ways, and there are a lot of things that I want to do, places I want to see, and commas I want to overuse.
 |
| Courtesy of Takuya-kun |
I am so excited about life, whichever direction it takes - the love road, or the lone road.
This year has changed me, into what, I am still not sure. The winter vacation will define the next step.
10 comments:
This makes so much sense to me, too. It wasn't always that way. Although my husband and I knew we wanted to go cruising "someday" since we met, 20+ years ago (ACK) (I was a child bride!)... it wasn't until his mother died, at age 56, that we sat down and planned our exit strategy from the rat race. She had just retired and was full of dreams of the places she and her husband would travel... and then, poof. Major illness, two weeks, dreams unfulfilled. It was a gift she left us to be sure, to be focused on living life to the fullest and not postponing what you truly enjoy for some unknown future date.
You guys are my heroes!
56 was young.
How sad.
Today the lady really, really sighed long and hard. Folks in Japan don't usually show such depth of feeling in the open, certainly not in a teachers room. I saw regret written in her eyes, I saw such sadness, and I asked her if her children were nearby, but she said, they are 'soto', which means 'outside' in Japanese, and arghh, this lady is so lovely, my heart broke for the finality of it all, because there is no bringing back the dead. It's how I describe my own mother, 'Dead as Caesar'.
He was one great, now he's just dead, and even though he was great, it means sod all once you are dead, so while you are alive, Live It, in the way that you want to live it.
I love you guys, your travels, your photos, your stories, your kids are in the 1% of LIFE.
..once...not one....
i admit i used to think like most people, that we simply have to work until 60-65 years of age. that changed about ten years ago when i was with my ex; he was japanese and came from a wildly wealthy family. he and his siblings never had to work a day in their lives due to huge inheritances from the family.
i resented it at first and stewed in my own bitter juices, but came to realize that i was wrong... very wrong. i just had to change my perspective to understand that we're not all cut from the same cloth and this rich variety of life is what enlightens us if, and only if we can take a morsel of wisdom away from it. i learned a lot from his family, we remain friendly to this day. they taught me to enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what your circumstances, something my mother failed at miserably. i'm so lucky to have friends around me who support my lifestyle and viewpoints without any judgement!
your posts ring true for so many. kudos!
Yep, those who are fortunate in that respect, shouldn't be put down because we think they should be working, or have to make their money. If they are happy, that's great.
I remember dating The Mole, this Italian dude, and we'd be on my boat, and a posh boat would rock up in the bay, and he'd pah pah it, saying, 'rich fckers' and so on, and I'd say, 'you have no idea what kind of people are on that boat, and even if they are rich, it makes no difference, they are still people'. Just like when I went to Italy to meet his family - bhahahhahahahahwahahha - and we'd be drivin' around in his 'antique' jeep, and he'd pass judgement on folks driving Ferraris and whatnot, saying, 'rich gits, blah blah blah farankural whatever' and I'd say, 'that person is probably driving to an orphanage to help out the children' cos you never know, and the Italian, he was a dick anyway for driving a trendy jeep, and yet feeling morally superiour, like go figure.
Thanks for commenting, your comments are always thoughtful and interesting.
Not sure if I'd call it selfish at all. My position is fairly libertarian in this respect: If you like the deal you're offered (work until 65 and hope the pension plan stays intact until you pop your clogs), by all means take it. Not everyone has grand personal ambitions and if they do, they might channel them into hobbies, yoga or "personal growth". Whatever. If your choices don't involve costing me personally or bothering the horses, have at it. Just don't characterize your *choice* as the default setting or *right* decision for society in general.
I get some stick for declining to have ever purchased a car, but where I live, how I work and my temperament made this a no-brainer. Also, pointing to the brace of small yachts and saying "they cost less yearly than a Honda Accord to run" tends to shut people up.
There's a hint of jealousy and fear here, too: People on the treadmill want company and resent the fact that others, sometimes through sheer happenstance, saw the treadmill early enough to avoid stepping on it. You essentially self-describe as a naif with a horseshoe up the backside: You barely plan and seem to operate on impulse re: your "empire".
Fine.
As long as you don't sponge off the public teat or pull scams on four continents, it's no bother to me, and it shouldn't be to anyone else. You may be failing to drink the Kool-Aid, so to speak, and that bothers people who have drunk far too much already.
I certainly agree with Behan that the death of parents does focus the mind.
Nov. 29th was the ninth anniversary of my mother's death at 68. Oct. 29th was the fifth anniversary of my father's death at 81.
I didn't need the small packet of inheritance to contemplate sailing off into the sunset while I still have a full head of (mostly) brown hair, but I do feel, quite strongly, that as they didn't have much of a "retirement" together, or get to themselves do the travel they'd hoped to do, it's sort of a post-mortem endorsement that we go cruising in honour of their memories.
I'm planning to disperse their ashes into the sea the day we actually push off.
Also, to judge by that mustache, if Daniel Day Lewis was filming "Gangs of New York", how was it he was hugging you in Cairo.
The mystery endures!
Thanks for the comments, r, always a pleasure to read your words.
Love the thought of you scattering your parents ashes somewhere eventually. Very nice.
Si, I concur with all you wrote, and regarding the 'this is the only way or take the highway', I hope I have never come across that way, because I for sure don't think getting off the treadmill is for everybody, and staying on it for many appears to bring them happiness, and supports their families, and so on.
I am 100% self-supporting and will never look to the state to take care of me. If I get really sick, I will helium bag myself.
Which is why I do coffee enemas. Because I want to remain as healthy as possible for as long as is possible, that is for sure.
Pro-tip: Don't mix up the helium bag and the enema bag. Could be the sequel to "Up".
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