Argh. I woke up at 4am again. Nerves. And so on.
I need to leave Residence Kant at around 9:45am in order to get d'is bus and d'at bus and fck the green suitcase with all those covers in it, and argh.
Waking up early isn't such a bad thing because some people won't get to wake up this morning so I feel very lucky to be one of those who has woken up, plus, now I can have my last coffee enema without having to 'fit it in' somehow - I'm taking the bag and will continue to do them while away - then take a lingering bath, shave my legs, pits, Mound of Venus, and so on.
Have a coffee for my mouth.
Touch my bottle of COCO.
You know, the usual.
Fck. I just know I'm gonna get a middle seat on the plane.
I was unable to select my seat ahead of the flight.
I'll probably be wedged between two 'muscled' Americans. Sigh.
Or two skinny Japanese, on their way to Disneyland, who have never heard of Inside Jobs.
It is rare these days that I get to sit next to somebody interesting.
They are usually SUCH FCKING BORES.
Gone are the days when I'd get to sit next to South African farmers who specialised in selling the jizz from their prize bulls.
These days, I give a big smile, a hello- this is usually after struggling to catch their eye- and that's it.
'Hi', a bit of a shuffle with the pillow, and they are out like a light.
But back to bores on planes.
It's like, wtf, aren't people curious anymore?
I love finding out where folks are from, where they are going, if their life is fcked up like what mine is, and so on. Also, it's pretty amazing to be flying as it is, and yet folks get on the plane as if they did it every day, yawn, god, this is so damn blase, flying so high above the earth. Like wtf. Is nothing magical anymore?
I usually have to get up and go and stand at the back of the plane for a bit cos that's were other Flyhemians hang out. I also love talking to the flight attendants cos they usually live in interesting countries, like the guy above who was from Abu Dhabi.
Like on the last trip out of Istanbul this year, when I met the cool Turkish dude heading for a life in Oz.
We downed a bottle of white between us and had a really interesting chat. See above pic.
The guy I was sitting next to was such a waste of high altitude seat space.
I'd tried to bond when I first sat down, told him that his choice of clothes that day matched the interior of the plane, and that it was so cool that he didn't clash, and that I was sorry that what I was wearing clashed, and had he checked beforehand what colour the interior of the cabin was?
Yeah, I know what you are thinking,
I used to have a lot of fun on planes, still do, but I have to try way harder to find the fun, and it's more often than not, fun had in my own head. What's new?
It is a theory of mine that the age of the Internet has made a lot of people - even those lucky enough to get to fly - unable to communicate like what they used to.
If they don't have a computer screen, 'game' or FB in front of them, they are not sure what to LOL at.
Just a theory.
Well, time to get up.
I might nip out to buy a beer, start celebrating 3 weeks of freedom.
I won't be online as much but I sure as hell am not going to go Cold Turkey and will probably pop in now and again to get my writing fix.
After this fcking nightmare of a year, I will only do things that make me happy, that is for sure.
And writing, and having stories to write about, makes me happy.
I need to leave Residence Kant at around 9:45am in order to get d'is bus and d'at bus and fck the green suitcase with all those covers in it, and argh.
 |
| Summer 2011. Disabled toilet. Shoot me. |
Waking up early isn't such a bad thing because some people won't get to wake up this morning so I feel very lucky to be one of those who has woken up, plus, now I can have my last coffee enema without having to 'fit it in' somehow - I'm taking the bag and will continue to do them while away - then take a lingering bath, shave my legs, pits, Mound of Venus, and so on.
Have a coffee for my mouth.
Touch my bottle of COCO.
 |
| I've packed the solar light. Thanks Fuu for reminding me. |
You know, the usual.
Fck. I just know I'm gonna get a middle seat on the plane.
I was unable to select my seat ahead of the flight.
I'll probably be wedged between two 'muscled' Americans. Sigh.
Or two skinny Japanese, on their way to Disneyland, who have never heard of Inside Jobs.
 |
| The Economist wrote about my life this year in the July issue. |
It is rare these days that I get to sit next to somebody interesting.
They are usually SUCH FCKING BORES.
Gone are the days when I'd get to sit next to South African farmers who specialised in selling the jizz from their prize bulls.
These days, I give a big smile, a hello- this is usually after struggling to catch their eye- and that's it.
'Hi', a bit of a shuffle with the pillow, and they are out like a light.
 |
| This flight was almost empty from Japan to China, and then it filled up totally in Beijing, which has the world's most boring airport, despite being the world's largest airport, so yah, the plane filled up, albeit I was given a row of seats to myself because I had bonded with the flight steward and he wanted me to be comfortable. He even turfed two Chinese passengers out of the row that he moved me to. Evil roar. I said 'sorry' but I didn't mean it. Chinese shouldn't be traveling anyway, what with their country being Communist. |
But back to bores on planes.
It's like, wtf, aren't people curious anymore?
I love finding out where folks are from, where they are going, if their life is fcked up like what mine is, and so on. Also, it's pretty amazing to be flying as it is, and yet folks get on the plane as if they did it every day, yawn, god, this is so damn blase, flying so high above the earth. Like wtf. Is nothing magical anymore?
I usually have to get up and go and stand at the back of the plane for a bit cos that's were other Flyhemians hang out. I also love talking to the flight attendants cos they usually live in interesting countries, like the guy above who was from Abu Dhabi.
Like on the last trip out of Istanbul this year, when I met the cool Turkish dude heading for a life in Oz.
We downed a bottle of white between us and had a really interesting chat. See above pic.
 |
| I only drink Calsberg as a last resort |
I'd tried to bond when I first sat down, told him that his choice of clothes that day matched the interior of the plane, and that it was so cool that he didn't clash, and that I was sorry that what I was wearing clashed, and had he checked beforehand what colour the interior of the cabin was?
Yeah, I know what you are thinking,
'I never want to sit next to that crazy British kant on a flight. Ever.'It is my humble onion that passengers have become duller over the years.
 |
| Etihad Airlines. A poor man's Emirates. Very good, great food, friendly service. |
I used to have a lot of fun on planes, still do, but I have to try way harder to find the fun, and it's more often than not, fun had in my own head. What's new?
 |
| The best toilet window in the world, after the one on my boat, that is. |
It is a theory of mine that the age of the Internet has made a lot of people - even those lucky enough to get to fly - unable to communicate like what they used to.
If they don't have a computer screen, 'game' or FB in front of them, they are not sure what to LOL at.
Just a theory.
Well, time to get up.
I might nip out to buy a beer, start celebrating 3 weeks of freedom.
I won't be online as much but I sure as hell am not going to go Cold Turkey and will probably pop in now and again to get my writing fix.
After this fcking nightmare of a year, I will only do things that make me happy, that is for sure.
And writing, and having stories to write about, makes me happy.
2 comments:
Bon visage, M.
May the feroc be with yew.
Minos.
P.S. Donna fret!!!
Oh Maria, have a wonderful trip, hope someone interesting is by your side, or even better someone with a really really tragic tale... nah. Someone nice (even though as a friend once told me - nice is an insipid word). Have a great Chrissy (will never wish you happy holidays.. that's crap), and an even better new years (the worst night ever in my opinion) and I trust that 2012 brings nothing but good things... even if 21.12.12 is the end as the Majans say - In my opinion we should go out with a bang and enjoy every day as if it is our last.. So my dear ENJOY! Life is good, and we can only do our best to make it better!
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