Last night I had a dream.
In the dream, Sok (an esteemed reader), explained to me that it's a bitch that I feel like this this year- which is depressed, low, constantly sad (I only 'lighten' up in blog posts, my blog is my only escape this year, and listening to Podcasts, watching movies and documentaries), crappy feelings that come from not wanting to be here, from realising that this didn't have to happen, and so on, I mean, really, you should try living with this, with the fact that, if all goes well, there was absolutely no point to this long, lonely, fcked up year- well, to get back to the dream, because that was quite a detour, like they make you take on British Rail, Sok said, if I can pretend that I'm just a worker, who is merely a 43 year old, 'working', like many other 43 year olds out there, who are also working, and understand that we are all doing the same thing, that there are very few 43 year olds doing what they really want to be doing, maybe, who knows, each to their own, some folks love work, and so on, well, to make things clearer, Sok drew me a train.
The train had three carriages.
One carriage was work.
One carriage was the evenings/ non-work time.
And one carriage was the weekends and vacation periods.
He then went on to explain that, whilst I might be more miserable than the average person out there during this reluctant period in my life, we were all riding the same train, that very few people in my generation had got off the train, that all of us had a seat in the work carriage, a bed in the evening carriage, and a place to put our travel bags on the weekend and holiday carriage.
The point of the dream was, we are all in this together, we are all riding the same train, and I should feel blessed that I'll be able to get off the train sooner than most, that my station is just around the corner, and when I step off the train, it will be time to start afresh, doing things that I really want to do, and not living a life of reluctance instead.
I'm not saying that staying on the train and traveling further within its carriages is a bad thing, not at all, we each live our lives differently, but in my case, I don't like this kind of train, that's all, but I'm on it for now, just like millions of other people are on it, and we each have our issues, or maybe we don't have any issues, but we're on the same Mon-Fri train, no matter where we all choose to get off in the end.
And I should just stfu because this is a really boring post and count my lucky stars that I'm not my friend who has just had his holiday vacation suddenly cut by his boss.
Like wtf.
I have for sure been spoilt spending my career in Japan, 13 weeks paid vacation a year, see ya when I don't have classes, shoot me before I'll ever hang around during vacation time for the students, and so on, whereas my friends in the real world of work have to put up with this shit from their bosses, indeed, I even remember the time when my friends had to cancel their wedding - twice - because of a kant of a boss, so yah, I am so lucky, so very, very lucky, that nobody is gonna take any vacation from me, and I'm also lucky that I didn't have to sell my soul for the paltry few paid days/weeks usually meted out by the corporations to their slaves.
I'll try and write something more entertaining later but t'is a busy day - 4 classes- and I have a giant orange on my desk, a gift from a teacher, he won it yesterday at a golf tournament.
In the dream, Sok (an esteemed reader), explained to me that it's a bitch that I feel like this this year- which is depressed, low, constantly sad (I only 'lighten' up in blog posts, my blog is my only escape this year, and listening to Podcasts, watching movies and documentaries), crappy feelings that come from not wanting to be here, from realising that this didn't have to happen, and so on, I mean, really, you should try living with this, with the fact that, if all goes well, there was absolutely no point to this long, lonely, fcked up year- well, to get back to the dream, because that was quite a detour, like they make you take on British Rail, Sok said, if I can pretend that I'm just a worker, who is merely a 43 year old, 'working', like many other 43 year olds out there, who are also working, and understand that we are all doing the same thing, that there are very few 43 year olds doing what they really want to be doing, maybe, who knows, each to their own, some folks love work, and so on, well, to make things clearer, Sok drew me a train.
The train had three carriages.
One carriage was work.
One carriage was the evenings/ non-work time.
And one carriage was the weekends and vacation periods.
He then went on to explain that, whilst I might be more miserable than the average person out there during this reluctant period in my life, we were all riding the same train, that very few people in my generation had got off the train, that all of us had a seat in the work carriage, a bed in the evening carriage, and a place to put our travel bags on the weekend and holiday carriage.
The point of the dream was, we are all in this together, we are all riding the same train, and I should feel blessed that I'll be able to get off the train sooner than most, that my station is just around the corner, and when I step off the train, it will be time to start afresh, doing things that I really want to do, and not living a life of reluctance instead.
I'm not saying that staying on the train and traveling further within its carriages is a bad thing, not at all, we each live our lives differently, but in my case, I don't like this kind of train, that's all, but I'm on it for now, just like millions of other people are on it, and we each have our issues, or maybe we don't have any issues, but we're on the same Mon-Fri train, no matter where we all choose to get off in the end.
And I should just stfu because this is a really boring post and count my lucky stars that I'm not my friend who has just had his holiday vacation suddenly cut by his boss.
Like wtf.
I have for sure been spoilt spending my career in Japan, 13 weeks paid vacation a year, see ya when I don't have classes, shoot me before I'll ever hang around during vacation time for the students, and so on, whereas my friends in the real world of work have to put up with this shit from their bosses, indeed, I even remember the time when my friends had to cancel their wedding - twice - because of a kant of a boss, so yah, I am so lucky, so very, very lucky, that nobody is gonna take any vacation from me, and I'm also lucky that I didn't have to sell my soul for the paltry few paid days/weeks usually meted out by the corporations to their slaves.
I'll try and write something more entertaining later but t'is a busy day - 4 classes- and I have a giant orange on my desk, a gift from a teacher, he won it yesterday at a golf tournament.
5 comments:
Yep, still on that train and I'm almost 20 yrs yer Sr. Although everyday for years , I have tried to step off that work carraige at every stop......it just keeps dragging me back on.
My evening carraige is definately my most used, and that holiday carraige.....other than local lake camping, RR, Hollow, NC Beach, etc. has been sorely neglected for while.
Saving it for South Africa or Mexico, hopefully in the near future. :))
Mata ne
Liz
And my Dad collects model RR stuff, and has that EXACT same 3 carriage train. Fushigi ne
Yep, finally spelled it right :))
That is fushigi!
You can take this job and fushigi it.
Actually, that was a good post. Most people can't see it's a train in the first place, never mind wanting to leave it or knowing how.
The tracks are "time".
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