Well, time for me to hit the sack after my evening coffee enema and a long bath.
I gave the bag a clean in the bath.
Japan makes the best enema bags in the world.
This one is nearly 9 years old. Wow.
Yep, Japanese enema bags, made by Cafe Colon, are da bomb, and the most aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Kids do not run away when they see this bag.
But this bag!
WTF.
You do a search on google for 'enema bag' or go to Amazon and do the same, and ewww, horrible, it's no wonder people balk at the idea of ridding their colonic tract of ancient, impacted feces, which seep toxins into the blood stream, day in, day out, when faced with bags that look like this.
All that pavlova, the stand, the grim looking bag, all to make you feel like a SPARTA,
All brave, fck that, it's so easy, so pastoral, so not at all like anything you might find when doing a search for 'coffee enemas'.
I don't need no goddamn stand. Just a hook or a boat boom or whatever.
I tell ya, I might wind up on my deathbed ruing the day I didn't have kids, but believe me, if you wind up on your d'bed having never experienced what a clean colonic tract feels like, then you will never have lived, even if you pass to The Other Side leaving 12 grand kids and 7 great-grand kids to carry on your long line of people.
Fck. I just realised that me stops with me.
That's sad.
That's very sad.
Because I am an evolved being.
Maybe that's God's plan though.
Folks like me, who know too much about Inside Legs and Inside Colons, we're too good to have our gene pool diluted with human breeding, and instead shall be whisked off to Planet Kolon, to become the Earthling Princess of the Prince there.
I write this stuff and I'm not even high. This year has obviously been worth it. Free highs. Almost as good as Free Bananas.
Where was I?
Oh, yes, I have rustled up a ground beef, tomato, cesium carrot, orange pepper, fresh basil, coriander, sweet potato stew. It shall slowly cook in the slow cooker.
Because it can.
I gave the bag a clean in the bath.
Japan makes the best enema bags in the world.
This one is nearly 9 years old. Wow.
Yep, Japanese enema bags, made by Cafe Colon, are da bomb, and the most aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Kids do not run away when they see this bag.
But this bag!
| Fck! I've just noticed the size of the nozzle. My nozzle does not look like that. I will show you it tomorrow. I don't want you all thinking I have a huge muscled sphincter. |
You do a search on google for 'enema bag' or go to Amazon and do the same, and ewww, horrible, it's no wonder people balk at the idea of ridding their colonic tract of ancient, impacted feces, which seep toxins into the blood stream, day in, day out, when faced with bags that look like this.
All that pavlova, the stand, the grim looking bag, all to make you feel like a SPARTA,
All brave, fck that, it's so easy, so pastoral, so not at all like anything you might find when doing a search for 'coffee enemas'.
 |
| See how pretty it all looks. Stands are for sheeple. |
I don't need no goddamn stand. Just a hook or a boat boom or whatever.
I tell ya, I might wind up on my deathbed ruing the day I didn't have kids, but believe me, if you wind up on your d'bed having never experienced what a clean colonic tract feels like, then you will never have lived, even if you pass to The Other Side leaving 12 grand kids and 7 great-grand kids to carry on your long line of people.
Fck. I just realised that me stops with me.
That's sad.
That's very sad.
Because I am an evolved being.
Maybe that's God's plan though.
Folks like me, who know too much about Inside Legs and Inside Colons, we're too good to have our gene pool diluted with human breeding, and instead shall be whisked off to Planet Kolon, to become the Earthling Princess of the Prince there.
I write this stuff and I'm not even high. This year has obviously been worth it. Free highs. Almost as good as Free Bananas.
Where was I?
Oh, yes, I have rustled up a ground beef, tomato, cesium carrot, orange pepper, fresh basil, coriander, sweet potato stew. It shall slowly cook in the slow cooker.
Because it can.
 |
| Must clean my splattered tiles on the morrow |
5 comments:
In light of the colonic advocacy in the first part of the post, and the stew advocacy of the second part of the post, the "splattered tiles" made me a touch queasy.
tee hee @ Rhys.
When I was a kid, my parent's had an enema bag like that with a huge nozzle. I think Mom kept it around as a threat, 'eat your vegitables or you'll become constipated and need an enema...' That alone would scare the shit out of a kid.
He he he both of you.
You're lucky you had veggies, Judith, we just had green peas, every single day, green peas. I had to shell huge bags of the fckers.
GAG! English peas? Those were the only thing I wouldn't eat. I would be the last one at the table, gagging on peas. Mom's favorite brand were the LeSuere Baby English Peas. They were named correctly... LeSuere, they needed to be in the sewer.
I enjoyed marrowfat peas with Sunday roast. They required soaking overnight in a casserole with a mysterious large white pill thing, which was apparently essentially a huge mint.
I like lima beans, too, which a lot of people don't. Can't stand Brussels sprouts. Goddamn monkey brains.
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