Even though I think nothing of picking a bottle of wine off a supermarket shelf almost daily, or throwing 30,000 pounds down for a flat during the first 5 days of a vacation, I remain thrifty where it kants, I mean, counts, but really, I am a kant for my principles, I really am.
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Like 'trimming' envelopes/cards so that they fit in the 'sizer' at the post office, resulting in the mutilation of the aforementioned cards intended for friends or, when I had family, family.
Maybe that's why my dad decided to not welcome me the time I contacted him from Istanbul, all excited about moving to Mexico to start my boating dream, but wanting to fly over to the F.UK to see him before I left, having not seen him for 3 years as it was.
'I can't see you because my new wife doesn't like you.'
Okay.
So I sent him a reply that said, 'Go to hell! All of you!'
I'm tigressing and yes, I rarely mince my words, and maybe because I lopped the top of Mount Fuji off that was on the card I sent him for Christmas, was why his new wife decided to freeze me out of the 'family'.
Where was I?
Oh yes, being a principled kant.
For example, I absolutely do not 'do coffee' unless it's under a buck fifty - with a free refill.
Or buy perishables out of season.
So anyway, off I cycled to Mos Burger just now to treat myself to my second Mos Burger since April 2011.
I ate Mos Burger the day my mother died on July 2nd 1992 too.
On that day I had a 'Fish Burger'
and a Large Fries
At this point, my mother was still alive. (The radio just said 'dead') She was to die a few hours later, while I was drinking my second Guinness at Kuala Lumpur's old airport, Simpang. Bummer.
I tigressed.
Mos Burger is the creme de la creme of Japan's burger chains.
I had a 100 yen discount voucher, which is why I went.
But.
It was only valid if I got a 'set', even though what I wanted - just a Spicy Mos Cheeseburger and large fries - came to more than the set.
But no, I had to order a set.
And I hate buying 'soft drinks'.
It's such a fcking waste of money.
I remember being in a pub in the F.UK and I offered to buy a round of drinks (don't faint) and somebody wanted a Coke and I refused to buy it.
I was like, 'Fuck off! I'm not wasting my money on some sparkling high fructose corn syrup shit, you fat bastard!'
Anyway, long story short, I gave Mos Burger a big sigh and walked out.
Which was a good thing because when I got back to school there was a free bento waiting for me on my desk, given that today is a special day, with the teachers supervising the big Entrance Exams, and me using too many commas.
.JPG)
Like 'trimming' envelopes/cards so that they fit in the 'sizer' at the post office, resulting in the mutilation of the aforementioned cards intended for friends or, when I had family, family.
Maybe that's why my dad decided to not welcome me the time I contacted him from Istanbul, all excited about moving to Mexico to start my boating dream, but wanting to fly over to the F.UK to see him before I left, having not seen him for 3 years as it was.
'I can't see you because my new wife doesn't like you.'
Okay.
So I sent him a reply that said, 'Go to hell! All of you!'
I'm tigressing and yes, I rarely mince my words, and maybe because I lopped the top of Mount Fuji off that was on the card I sent him for Christmas, was why his new wife decided to freeze me out of the 'family'.
Where was I?
Oh yes, being a principled kant.
For example, I absolutely do not 'do coffee' unless it's under a buck fifty - with a free refill.
Or buy perishables out of season.
So anyway, off I cycled to Mos Burger just now to treat myself to my second Mos Burger since April 2011.
I ate Mos Burger the day my mother died on July 2nd 1992 too.
On that day I had a 'Fish Burger'
and a Large FriesAt this point, my mother was still alive. (The radio just said 'dead') She was to die a few hours later, while I was drinking my second Guinness at Kuala Lumpur's old airport, Simpang. Bummer.
I tigressed.
Mos Burger is the creme de la creme of Japan's burger chains.
I had a 100 yen discount voucher, which is why I went.
But.
It was only valid if I got a 'set', even though what I wanted - just a Spicy Mos Cheeseburger and large fries - came to more than the set.
But no, I had to order a set.
And I hate buying 'soft drinks'.
It's such a fcking waste of money.
I remember being in a pub in the F.UK and I offered to buy a round of drinks (don't faint) and somebody wanted a Coke and I refused to buy it.
I was like, 'Fuck off! I'm not wasting my money on some sparkling high fructose corn syrup shit, you fat bastard!'
Anyway, long story short, I gave Mos Burger a big sigh and walked out.
Which was a good thing because when I got back to school there was a free bento waiting for me on my desk, given that today is a special day, with the teachers supervising the big Entrance Exams, and me using too many commas.
8 comments:
You are like looking in a funhouse mirror sometimes, Perkins. Even as I approve of your principles, sharing a fair number of them as I do, I realize you must be a royal pain in the arse to be in the general vicinity of at times.
Not a slam, by the way, but a realization I must be quite annoying over minor shit myself.
There's tension between the "I know I'm right, so fuck off!" attitude and the "life is short, just let it go" attitude.
I suppose it's funny AND tragic that you get to experience the latter in Water World by being very much the former. I suppose the "whoosh" sound heard aboard the boats of recent arrivals to Water World is actually sphincters loosening after years of effort just to *get* to Water World.
Which is interesting, if slightly disturbing, in and of itself.
I'm actually easy to get along with as long as you have good table manners and/or aren't a bore.
At the first sign of fork biting, finger licking, noisy eating, I hate you and stop listening to what you are talking about.
It's a bad intolerance but one that I will have till I die.
Otherwise, my thriftiness doesn't bother others, just the fat bastards I won't buy Cokes for, indeed, my thriftiness takes me to Happy Hours around the globe, which makes me far from boring or uptight.
And yes, there is a feeling of a great release once 'free', be it in WW or elsewhere, which makes the journey via thrift all the more important to stick to, else I'd never reach Freevarna.
p.s I know that when we eventually meet you are going to be a deliberate pig at the table.
I just know it!!!
;)
There's definitely a sitcom in this. At least you've already written your own character. I've got at least one of your traits too but my friends know me well enough not to even ask for a coke in a pub.
He he he ..that's funny, Roics.
I've only had mos burger once and it was really dried out and yuck so never tried it again.
I was reading some chick's "thrift" blog the other day and she posted her weekly expenditure and every week she had $10-12 for coconut water!
Until you described it in such detail, I had no idea what forkbiting was.
ehehehhehehheh. I do now.
On the other hand, I am constantly trying to convince my son that if you start a meal with a fork, you need to finish with it, and that his notion of what constitutes "finger food" should veer away from that of the Ethiopian.
Coconut water is a little vile, in my view. I wonder if it's as nutritionally nasty as coconuts themselves?
r
Actually, coconut water is really good for you, as is the thick, rich,creamy coconunt milk (praise be to the Lord) even though it's 'fatty' because it has the right kind of fat.
The water is extremely hydrating, as I often discover when in tropical Asia. Ah, I'm so globule.
He he he re: forkbiting or is it fork biting? Waterworld or Water World? Fckingkantforkbiters or fcking kant forkbiters?
Other mates of mine have also become 'awakened' to the sound of fork biters, a sound they didn't notice before but now they hate me for having turned that switch on in them.
Right. Back to sleep. She says at 3am.
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