As much as I love drinking the Scotch, I enjoy just as much reading the reviews.
There's something about them. They verge on the feral. They are 100 times more soothing for the mind and the soul, than reading the labels on wine bottles. And I've read a lot. It's a custom of mine.
And this guy really knows how to write about Scotch.
http://jason-scotchreviews.blogspot.com
Here's his review of the Bowmore.
Nose (undiluted)
Delicate smoke, sulphur, and medium peat. This single malt scotch has probably the gentlest of Islay malt aromas. The scent of sulphur is a little off-putting, but don’t worry, it never rears its head in the palate.
Palate (undiluted)
Sweet, 300 thread-count, pillow soft, peat. Lakeside bonfire smoke of fallen tree branches that had been gathered on a windswept, overcast October afternoon.
Finish (undiluted)
Quite long. Drying sea salt, black tea and a little mint, all in a cloud of mild Canadian cigarette smoke. The final taste is ashes. The tail end of a big cigar.
God! I love reviews on Scotch.
Every single word comes alive.
Fck the 'lingering plummy finish' of Cabernets.
Give me the tail end of a big cigar any day!
DISCLAIMER
Uh, god, shoot me now. I just listened to this and noticed that my voice went 'up' at the end of some sentences, and I really fcking hate that way of speaking, and don't usually do it. It's the new way to talk in the UK. It's CHAV, it's 'ORRIBLE, and I hear it all the time on the BBC when younger people are being interviewed.
Do you know what I'm on about? It happens on the last word of a sentence, the last word goes 'up', and I hate it, as much as I hate fork biting, and I just did it myself, so shoot me, please.
Fck. I think I did it because I was nervous, under pressure, couldn't get the cork out.
But still, no excuse. I have to fast forward Podcasts when such chavs are being interviewed.
Please fast forward me, too.
19 comments:
It's pronounced "EYE-la", actually. Confused me, too, for some time, and I had a Scottish grannie.
Forty bucks isn't bad, actually.
Yes, my son and all his little friends do it? Constantly? Like I'm deaf or thick?
Frankly, I'd prefer a cleft palate on him. Then we could at least have a laugh about it.
When you get a chance, please post your impressions of the Bowmore. It is quite different from the Japanese whisky that you are familiar with.
Thanks for the kind words about my reviews.
Cheers!
Jason
Will do, Jason, and thanks for letting me copy and paste your review. Felt a little cheeky for doing it!
R, that made me laugh.
Was that a nasty poke from Anon that got deleted? Hells' bells, talk about lurking in wait.
Is this the return of the Beast?
Na, it wasn't anon. She's enjoying her 'semi-retirement' today instead of stalking this blog for an ego fix.
I really didn't notice that your voice went up, I was still thinking about the scotch's finish "Canadian cigarette smoke... and ash." Please tell me it doesn't give you ashtray breath later. I do like the way you say enema, totally different from the way we say it over here. It sounds scary and threatening when we say it.
Rhys, that was quiet a jab at the kid... but funny.
Why have a crippling disfigurement unless you can laugh about it, I say?
Anyway, they all bloody "uptalk", as it's called. It makes them all sound as if they are speaking from a very old paperback called "English for the Perplexed".
Normally one raises the last word up in a sentence to turn a statement into a question. Like "it's a really sweet single malt", meaning is it really sweet or is it really a doublet malt.....at least I think malt describe Scotch.
'Uptalk'. Perfect way to describe it.
Thank you, Thor, for citing examples.
Now, why on earth is it spreading like wild fire - I thought it was just a UK Chav thing...but if it's over in Canadastan, and your son is even doing it, r, there is NO hope.
I haven't noticed it here, but who knows, the Southern twang kind of overpowers the lingo down here. I'm going to start paying more attention. I'm so over the "my bad" expression. What's wrong with saying "I'm sorry" or "excuse me..." where did that expression come from anyway?
Yeah, I hate that 'my bad' shit and also the UK thing to say 'simples'. Like wtf is that all about.
I despair for the declining state of our language, which is why I welcome r's comments because he uses big words and writes in a colourful, thought-provoking way.
I used to write in a far richer style before teaching English as a second language totally stripped me of my vocabulary base.
The raised tone at the end thing was started either by Ozzies or Californian American kids. Don't know which came first. Hence I blame the generation that grew up watching Neighbours and 90210 on tv. Or their parents.
Where 'my bad' came from I've no idea. That also bugged the life out of me and when it first appeared I used to ask anyone who used it where they'd got it from so I could go and kill its founder.
While we're on pet hates of modern 'Brit speak' one of my most hated is people asking 'how are you?' when starting a conversation. Even if they don't know you. I used to give detailed descriptions of the gyp my piles were giving me or the bad nights sleep I'd had due to next doors dog.
Alas, once started there is no stopping these trends. Apart from mass murder. With me?
Don't get me started. Weaponize some anthrax, sprinkle it on the local currency equivalent of ten dollars, and send it via mail to strangers in every city on Earth.
I doubt you'd need even a million bucks to let greed and credulity massively reduce the population.
People think "ooh, a dirty bomb" or "aah, a nuclear device", but really, just mail poisoned cash to heavily populated countries. Boom, head shot.
I don't relish the idea of this happening, but it would not surprise me if it did in my lifetime. Talk about a radical fix for climate change: halve the number of farting and cooking humans.
Hehehehehehheheheheheheheheehe. Great idea, r. Such envelopes should be directed at benefits-seeking text- speakers and lower-case breeders.
I agree ROCIS, when people ask How are you? they really don't want to know, and I usually give them an honest answer as in "I'm tired and I want to go home, so how are you?" They agree with me and we're back to square one and just wasted a precious minute of life. As for the "My bad" I just want to say "that's the truth, you grammar sucks! If I were an English teacher I'd slap the shit out of you."
Lower case breeders? Chavs who refuse to capitalize little Shogaga's first name because "upper case is, like, oppressive and shit, innit?"
Ever seen this? Cracks me up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4QDz3c3Auw
"Madesin". Argh. Might as well just get her a tramp stamp and a brass pole to dance on. That's a stripper name, right there. I have a friend who named his daughter "Jade". I didn't have the heart to tell him that 200 years ago, "jade" meant "whore". Like "Crystal" and "Britney", it's another stripper name.
I personally have found it ironic that the credo of white supremacy is most commonly found in the society of people both ignorant and inbred.
I don't necessarily mean your relatives, J., but I travelled a bit in the U.S. South many years ago and I was pretty appalled both at the general intelligence level (as I could see it) and the pig-ignorant garbage I heard related as revealed truth.
Still, there's some very nice landscapes in the South. I would like to see N.O. before it's completely wiped out.
I say the same thing about San Francisco and Venice, actually. Why do I like doomed cities?
Post a Comment