So, I was over on the shallnotbenamed site because I wanted to see how the thread was evolving on the carpet burn on the forehead fat beer belly blow job issue, and stupid me, dohhhhhhhh, I tried to give some good advice, and fck, it backfired, pardon the pun.
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| The local mosque this morning |
Note to self.
Never, ever, ever mention coffee enemas to people.
All people, I guess.
Seriously, and I might be flogging an old joke here, but it gets exactly the same response, wherever or whenever you raise it, that ferrocement boats get.
It seems to bring out the bristle factor in people.
I mean, why?
It's not like I'm telling folks to shoot up, or drink bleach, or use a cheese grater right down to their fingertips, I mean, ffs, I was trying to give some good advice to help the man with the beer belly, so that he and his wife could have a healthier and more enjoyable sex life. I am NOT John Wayne Gacy.
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| My shoe box at schoOl |
It just backfired though.
The usual suspects, the usual default responses.
Folks who've ne'er looked deeper than their lower colon, espousing a quick, 'daily colonic irrigation causes death'.
Okay.
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| Texas in Japan |
Gee, I hope I wake up tomorrow.
I did two today.
Fck.
I have so many dreams to complete and I just fcked up by doing at least one coffee enema a day since January 2004.
Fck.
I'm fcked.
I'm gonna die.
Then I got called names.
'You look like a bloke'
And stupid shit like, 'Do you have coffee breath?' *These people are breeders, dammit! There is no hope for the planet*
And
OMG 'mumsnet' deleted me, deleted an evolved being's advice.
Stupid fcks.
No wonder I refuse to donate my organs upon death.
7 comments:
You banned from mumsnet and I could have been thrown out of Asda for looking too closely at the forhead of every woman in with a fat bloke.
Might start a twitter account just to trend #fattycarpetburns
That is so funny. I can just imagine.
Ha ha ha ha.
You know, the silly thing is, these women have come to this site - I linked, I don't care, out and proud - and they don't get it, they actually think I want buttock implants and hair extensions, and call me shallow. I guess they can't read, and just look at the pictures.
I actually have been laughing with tears in my eyes thinking of you checking out the chicks with fat blokes in Asda.
I sense a haiku coming.
Wow! Seriously spooky. Not knowing japanese i had to google haiku and it translates to my surname. Sort of
There was a young lady, Maria
Who's belly was big due to beer
But she isn't too shabby
Though her forehead is scabby
Cos she smells of nice coffee, in her rear
LOL
replace the 'scabby' with 'craggy' and it's perfect.
Am I the only one who sees two kitty kats watching the outdoors for birds and mice instead of a pair of cowgurl books...???
M_ M_ ?
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