Yesterday I went for a ride down to the castle grounds, where a homeless guy lives on a 'corner plot' near the pond.
I've been here so long that I remember when this bridge used to be ALL WOOD. It was beautiful.
In fact, I've been here so long that the castle wasn't even built when I first arrived.
Just kidding.
Lame joke.
Lame morning.
Well, not so lame.
I like being able to do what I want to do.
A bit of slothing here, a bit of slothing there, reading here, reading there, eating here, eating there.
I thought that yesterday, when I had time to myself, which is all the time, as I sat on a bench in Homeless Man's Corner, looking at the pond and the trees and the shimmering light being reflected from the pond up onto the trees, I thought about how lucky I am that somebody wasn't asking me to do something that I'd rather not have to do, that I could sit there for as long as I wanted to sit there.
I think it's clear to me that I am a very selfish human.
Whilst I have immense and intense empathy for those who deserve it - indeed, yesterday I got tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat when I saw a man who had dwarfism; he was in his 60's, so he's done well to get to that age, he was with two 'normal' friends, same age group, walking two dogs, one a Chiwowa, and one of those nasty motherfckering Schnauzers and yes, it did bark and growl and foam at the mouth, and even though I know the small man was having a lovely day with his friends, that he'd more than likely had a job his entire life, he might even have married, I still felt this huge empathy towards him that made me tear up, because I imagined that he had most likely suffered at some time in his life from taunts or feeling lonely, albeit he was out with friends, but still, I am sure he had had sad moments in his life due to his condition, and so I felt so sad, and I asked God to take some of my future happiness and give it to him instead - but where was I, oh yes, even though I have a load of empathy for those who deserve it, I'm actually a supremely selfish kant.
I'm weird.
This is the kind of thing that goes through my head. Sod the millions dying from floods, drought, famine -overpopulation - doh - but huge love for dwarfs.
Gah, I'm so cold hearted.
And selfish.
I am very guarded with my time, my freedom, which means I am a selfish kant.
And this is the main reason I didn't have kids because I would have had to give up some of my time.
I'm such a bitch human.
Still, I make up for it by leaving a smaller footprint on the planet despite having a big opinionated gob, or BOG for short.
Time, or the passing of time, having lived here for years, then left for what seemed to be a lifetime, and then returning, is really fcking with my head, and the power of time passing, is so glaringly visible to me each and every day, possibly because I am 'close' to what I see given that I cycle everywhere in the Far Out 'Hood, makes me feel sad as I see shops now closed, that used to be open, or shutters beneath which the wet nose of a dog used to peek out, but which is now fully shuttered, no wet nose visible. There is a lot of change here, change caused by death; the death of a business, the death of a pet, the death of a person. Time was the cause of all this death. The passing of time. So I get sad being here this year, seeing evidence of the relentless power of time, everywhere I go.But I do believe in fate and so this was written to happen. It has made me appreciate the concept of true freedom even more. In fact, I think that I am not the only one to be learning some big lessons this year.
I tigressed.
Here is the homeless man's towel; drying in the sun.
This is where he sleeps.
My last beer. Well, apart from the one I just had for breakfast.
It's time for me to get fit.
But enough about that.
Here's the homeless man's bike.
It's got two flat tyres though. Maybe I'll fix it for him, like what the mice did for Emily in Bagpus.
Here's some bamboo
and so on.
I'm boring myself right now, so I must be really boring y'all.
I think it's time for an enema, then a bath. I might go to the seaside.
Just kidding.
Lame joke.
Lame morning.
Well, not so lame.
I like being able to do what I want to do.
A bit of slothing here, a bit of slothing there, reading here, reading there, eating here, eating there.
I thought that yesterday, when I had time to myself, which is all the time, as I sat on a bench in Homeless Man's Corner, looking at the pond and the trees and the shimmering light being reflected from the pond up onto the trees, I thought about how lucky I am that somebody wasn't asking me to do something that I'd rather not have to do, that I could sit there for as long as I wanted to sit there.
I think it's clear to me that I am a very selfish human.
Whilst I have immense and intense empathy for those who deserve it - indeed, yesterday I got tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat when I saw a man who had dwarfism; he was in his 60's, so he's done well to get to that age, he was with two 'normal' friends, same age group, walking two dogs, one a Chiwowa, and one of those nasty motherfckering Schnauzers and yes, it did bark and growl and foam at the mouth, and even though I know the small man was having a lovely day with his friends, that he'd more than likely had a job his entire life, he might even have married, I still felt this huge empathy towards him that made me tear up, because I imagined that he had most likely suffered at some time in his life from taunts or feeling lonely, albeit he was out with friends, but still, I am sure he had had sad moments in his life due to his condition, and so I felt so sad, and I asked God to take some of my future happiness and give it to him instead - but where was I, oh yes, even though I have a load of empathy for those who deserve it, I'm actually a supremely selfish kant.
I'm weird.
This is the kind of thing that goes through my head. Sod the millions dying from floods, drought, famine -overpopulation - doh - but huge love for dwarfs.
Gah, I'm so cold hearted.
And selfish.
I am very guarded with my time, my freedom, which means I am a selfish kant.
And this is the main reason I didn't have kids because I would have had to give up some of my time.
I'm such a bitch human.
Still, I make up for it by leaving a smaller footprint on the planet despite having a big opinionated gob, or BOG for short.
Time, or the passing of time, having lived here for years, then left for what seemed to be a lifetime, and then returning, is really fcking with my head, and the power of time passing, is so glaringly visible to me each and every day, possibly because I am 'close' to what I see given that I cycle everywhere in the Far Out 'Hood, makes me feel sad as I see shops now closed, that used to be open, or shutters beneath which the wet nose of a dog used to peek out, but which is now fully shuttered, no wet nose visible. There is a lot of change here, change caused by death; the death of a business, the death of a pet, the death of a person. Time was the cause of all this death. The passing of time. So I get sad being here this year, seeing evidence of the relentless power of time, everywhere I go.But I do believe in fate and so this was written to happen. It has made me appreciate the concept of true freedom even more. In fact, I think that I am not the only one to be learning some big lessons this year.
I tigressed.
Here is the homeless man's towel; drying in the sun.
This is where he sleeps.
And here's me having a beer in my Holy Walmart Leggings
It's time for me to get fit.
But enough about that.
Here's the homeless man's bike.
Here's some bamboo
I'm boring myself right now, so I must be really boring y'all.
I think it's time for an enema, then a bath. I might go to the seaside.
3 comments:
WHo is Ron Paul?
The New Jesus - Here to save America.
Hintersting post.....but then they are, oarlweighs, Hi donna thnik you are true to balme these things on time though. Yes the passage hof Ms Time as we measure her has to pass to allow the events to hoccur, but I woul dargue they are not caused by the said pastage of. Hall so, I donna blieve iz selfwish to val ewe yaw freedom and guard your time. Iz very precious commodity and finite.....(most probable, anyway. Off course, hi cannot say weeth compleat Sir Tainty, since hi ham knot The Big God)
No, iz good that you value these things and take time to observe.... and reflect. Iz only by reflection upon the current and pastime that we are able to understand and learn from them. Hmmm, iz good writings. Have a gold star. Ting!
Minos
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